LACK OF ANY COMMUNICATION
It was not her fault.
It was the fault of my own doing.
We took a break from life, and I should have
Communicated to you, my concern on the length
Of time. But, that did not happen.
Should have talked to you, but that did not happen.
My concern was for that of my job, had a concern,
But did not share that. Was I excited, or trying to
Show off? This is not entirely certain.
If we could go back in time, knowing what is known now,
Would have made the choice to talk to you and share
Instead, we went on a wedding, honeymoon, vacation
For 14 days. My cell phone was put in the hotel safe,
And felt I should have said something about that, but did not.
The pattern was, communication from my heart, should have happened.
As a result, when we got back, my job was taken away from me.
They said it was due to downsizing, but in my heart, felt it
Was because of my duration away.
As a result of that action from the company I was at, my heart
Became resentful and actually blamed my new wife for what had
Happened, and that was wrong, incorrect and way off base!!
The choices made, after that, blamed you for what had happened,
And chose to drink, full of shame, resentment and sadness, and you
Did absolutely nothing wrong. Feel so bad for the choice I made
To drink. It took some serious soul searching to figure out what had
Happened, and why. If there was a way to turn back time, would love
To do that, and actually communicate with you before the trip to the
Island. Now, the creation of that choice, become horrible and
Ended up in a tail spin, that could not seem to recover from. Until now.
I am not a narcissist, became that from drinking, being resentful and
Not know what was being said while in a drinking state.
Now, my heart is on the mend, from the nasty choice that was made, and
Can only hope and pray that your heart can completely heal.
To say, “I’m sorry!” Just is not enough.
Wish a different path was taken in the choice for our trip. Wish that
Things could be different now.
Wish we were still together doing this right, instead of the wrong
Way that I chose to go down.
Wish the opportunity was there to apologize and heal.
No, “I’m sorry” just doesn’t work. Wish there was a way to start this
Over, the right way.