The Long Goodbye… :(

So, in recent months, we have seen the decline of my fathers memory and the ability to think through things quickly.  I can see it, and can hear it.  I can see it when he is around other people, and now, it seems to stress him out, as I can see that he is trying to remember people, names and events.  Most of the time, he just goes with the flow, but, can see the confusion on his face.  It is so difficult to see, because, my pops, has always been the loving one, the encourager, the singer, the one who was always happy and a genuine smile.  Now, that seems  to be going away.  It is hard to watch, I, and my sister feel so helpless right  now, and I talk to him and keep the conversation simple, to help him remember, and we laugh, but each time, afterward, I just breakdown, in my heart.  I break down.  I wish that he did not have to go through any of this.  He is 85 years old now, and has lived a great live  in our community in Southeast Alaska.  A great hunter, fisherman, guide, a loving father and husband, someone respected in our community.  One who trained many young people how to hunt and fish.  Always giving of himself.

It was a few months ago that the Doctor made the announcement that my pops has the early signs of Dementia.

What is Dementia?:

“Dementia is the loss of cognitive functioning — thinking, remembering, and reasoning — to such an extent that it interferes with a person’s daily life and activities. Some people with dementia cannot control their emotions, and their personalities may change.”

It hurts, it hurts so much.  You never wanted to see a loved one, especially a parent or child, lose their ability to think and remember.  It hurts.  To know that everyday, we seem to lose more and more of our pops.  It hurts.

I must pray and declare that God will help intervene and help my pops has a good rest of his life, as he walks this earth, one free of fear and one free of memory loss and pain.