Focusing on the negative can consume you. Especially when you play the comparison game. It can dig deep, spring up bitterness, and give you every reason to hate everyone and all the things. Especially when you are consumed with all the ways your own life is failing you.
But one of the easiest ways to start to pull yourself out of a funk is to focus on all the other ways you can be someone else’s cheerleader. Making people happy makes me happy. It is in my DNA.
I work for smiles. And when I get one, I smile – because spreading happiness is always a thing and it is something this world could always use more of.
When you focus on your problems, it soon becomes an abyss that you cannot see your way out of. No one else exists – it is just you in this deep sea of negativity and that can be poisonous to relationships.
But when you make a choice to choose JOY and to spread it, you cannot help but be overwhelmed by that light.
So what does being a cheerleader mean?
1. You’re not first all the time.
You don’t have time to focus on your problems because you are too busy loving on someone else and encouraging them in their life journey. You are choosing to put someone else’s happiness above your own.
2. Celebrating success minus the envy.
This can be a tough one. It’s about being genuinely happy for someone else’s success without worrying about your lot in life. You’ll get there. But in this moment, it’s about them – and all that they are doing for themselves and their family. It’s jumping up and down for the good they have without using it as an opportunity to introduce your own issues.
3. It is sometimes sacrificial.
You may not always feel up to it – you may not feel like you have the time. But being a true cheerleader means you show up, even if you don’t always feel like it. Being someone’s cheerleader means that for a moment, you step out of your corner and cheer on someone else. It is sometimes sacrificial, but also intensely rewarding.
It is not always easy to celebrate someone else – especially when you don’t feel like cheering. But over time, I have found that when you give good things out into the world and it will come back to you.
Being a cheerleader for others is not a replacement for self-love – it is in addition to, on top of, and wholly important to your development as a person in society. It is part of finding your purpose and in turn, a part of supporting yourself – you are finding your people, you are loving on them, and learning to put your own life into perspective.
Choosing to cheer someone else on is the recognition that someone else is just as valuable as you.
And when we begin to recognize and embrace that in others, we learn to how to better do that for ourselves.
In Search of Tranquility More than silence More than peace Soul and senses Be still and calm Storms and waves Be still Be calm One focus But be seen in anywhere Everywhere, anywhere, no where Still one focus In YOU Flower blossoms and withers Summer breeze and winter chill Golden leaves Green mountain Ever-changing Stability and balance Tranquility in mobility In search of YOU Tranquility in YOU
It would seem to be the word for me this year. “NEW”. It is like, all things for me this year. A very big year of change, and the thought crosses my mind, that, “Yes, change can be difficult, however, this time, my choice to live with all this change, has been very awesome! Scary at times, but still, good, none the less!” It has done my heart good, since October of 2021, with the change of region. Moving from the Pacific NW to NE Tennessee. This has been a very good change, the atmosphere, the area, the peace and quiet, and just how very nice the people are around here. It brings my heart back to the small town living that my sister and I were raised. People are friendly, courteous, respectful, honest and very nice. Heck, while driving down the road in our community here, people wave to you while you are driving by.
Love the area. The yes Ma’am’s and yes Sir. Is all just so very refreshing. This new change and all that was mentioned, is bringing some very needed healing to my scarred heart. More to come on that in another post.
Yes, going to really love being here. In the next few posts, going to be adding photos of the property, the house currently sits on 1.5 acres, and currently own the land next door, and plans are in the works to add a tiny home, that will be used as a secondary way to generate income, through AirBNB. The permits have all been secured, the ground breaking will begin in the next few weeks. Will keep photos going as the plan is to move forward with this part of the adventure. As stated before, photos and videos to follow. Also placing videos on my TikTok account. @Your_a_team, you should stop by and check it out.
It has been a long while since a post has been created for this site. A great many things have happened in the past year and one half.
Last year, was head hunted by a small private jet aviation firm out of Carlsbad California, they hired me as a Private Aviation Sales, allowing me to work from my home office. That was a great experience, and business begin to take off, (as it were). Was there for just about one year and really enjoyed my time there. We only had two aircraft for charter, and were able to keep them both very busy.
However, given the state that my home was, was placing, a strangle hold on it’s people, and just could not deal with that any more, and seemed that the direction the leaders of that state was going, was going to create, nothing but chaos. So, the search for a new home began. Began by searching in North Carolina, then, stumbled on some very key points, that helped in making my decision to move. Points like, the state believes in our constitution and goes all out to protect the rights of her people. The property taxes, the cost of living, the freedom, jus to name a few. Made the decision in September of 2021, at the end of October, was on the road, heading to NE Tennessee. At the beginning of October, 2021 a very large private aviation company head hunted me, and we did an interview online, it was amazing. A company that has 80 private aircraft, based all over the country. Was very intrigued by the whole idea. The interview took place on Wednesday, and they told me they would contact me on the following Monday, as they ha other interviews to go through. Knew, in the back of my mind, that would be the case. However, on Friday, about 11:00 am PST, received a phone call from said company, and when viewed on my caller ID, my heart sort of sank, as calling me sooner than Monday, was probably not going to be good news. So, my heart braced for the worst, then, my, then, future boss, says, “Hi Alex, I am calling because……(pause), my heart sank,”. Then she says, we would like to offer you the position and here is what we can do for you. “WHEW!! “. Of course, the job was accepted. We nailed down a date for me to come to Ohio for training, and that would be right after the trip was made to Tennessee. Literally, three days after my arrival to my new home town. (More to come on this story later).
Needless to say, began a new journey, starting on new beginnings, have over 5 acres of property in Tennessee now, one plot houses the new home, and the other plot, looking to invest into. Tiny home, to rent out to Air BNB, more to come on this as it unfolds.
There really is a lot more to tell, but just getting back into my writing. Discovered that being out here in the very real country, the open air, the peace and quiet, is going to bring healing to my soul, and allowing our creator to heal places of my heart, that have been holding on to for way to long, things, that we are not designed to carry. And, as difficult as all that is, it is a very good thing.
Getting my passion for writing back, and actually picking up my guitar once again. There are some songs that were begun 3 years ago, that in my heart, just have to be completed. Well, need to sign off for the time being.
I just love the lyrics to this song. So very tru in the world we live in today.
2020 by Mitch Rossell – Song Lyrics
Hey God, we need some help down here The devil’s been a busy man, bullyin’ us all year He’s spinnin’ lies, made us pick a side, now our fists are up We’re headed down a path where a mask, can’t save usSo Lord I pray, with all my might
Help us see each other through your eyes Let’s take the red, take the blue, wave the white, call a truce Build a bridge across the line drawn through this country Before hindsight’s 2020Hеy God, could you shine a light? ‘Cause it’s hard for love to grow in weeds this high It’s gottеn dark, we need a spark, of your gospel truth
‘Cause in the end, we’re all the same even though we’re different too
So, Lord I pray, with all my might Help us see each other through your eyes Let’s take the red, take the blue, wave the white, call a truce Build a bridge across the line drawn through this country Before hindsight’s 2020Yeah, regret is closing in We’ve had the milk and honey
We can get it back againSo Lord I pray, with all my might Help us see eachother through your eyes Let’s take the red, take the blue, wave the white, call a truce Build a bridge across the line drawn through this country Before hindsight’s 2020Hey God, we need some help down here
If you have ever felt like a square peg being shoved into a round hole, then you know what feeling out of place is. You experience an overall lack of alignment—the feeling that you are actively wasting time, energy, and resources can be almost paralyzing.
I know this because I’ve experienced it first-hand—the anxiety, self-doubt, and worry that takes over, the way your mind can be suddenly flooded with negative thoughts and the curiosities about what could have been if you had made other choices.
Recognizing that you feel out of place can be scary, but like everything in life, it doesn’t have to be permanent.
Here are 5 steps you can take when you are feeling out of place.
1. Acknowledge That Your Feelings Are Trying to Communicate Something IMPORTANT to You
As a Spiritual Advisor, I’ve spent a lot of time studying the different ways that humans receive messages. Some people can pick up on the subtle and quiet messages whispered to them by the universe, while others have to be virtually bopped over the head with the information.
In the latter circumstance, the Universe will make sure the message is amplified until it cannot be ignored. You may feel conflicted about what your feeling.
You may have a stable job that you are good at but still feel off track and unsatisfied. You feel lost but it’s difficult for you to acknowledge that you are unhappy at your work and perhaps, you need to explore other options to feel fulfilled.
You are in a relationship that is unhealthy or toxic. But you are more afraid of being alone and having to put yourself out there, so admitting that you need to separate from that person is too difficult.
These realizations may be difficult and can take time. Release any embarrassment or shame you have around your confusion or fear. Humans are creatures of comfort.
It is not abnormal to experience some internal resistance when you realize that what your spirit wants and what is comfortable at the moment are out of alignment.
Recognizing that you feel off track is an important first step to getting back on track. It requires bravery and honesty to acknowledge that you may feel lost or confused. Give yourself credit for taking this incredibly important first step.
2. Take Time to Meditate on When You Started to Feel Out of Place or Off Track
Everything has a root, a cause, a starting point. If you are going to be able to move forward, it’s important to know where you are moving forward from.
Journaling is an incredibly helpful tool when used strategically. I’m not referring to the common and cathartic freewriting you usually associate with journaling, but instead, “prompt journaling.”
Prompt Journaling allows you to direct your attention very efficiently as you explore some questions.
Here are some prompts to get you started:
I feel safe when…
The last time I felt confident was…
I want to feel…
I am worthy of…
I noticed a change in myself when…
The activities that make me feel good are…
I feel joyful when…
I feel full of life when…
Write a letter to yourself a year from now.
Write a letter to yourself 2 years ago.
Studies have shown that journaling can help manage anxiety and reduce stress because it gives you a healthy way to express yourself when faced with overwhelming emotions.
The act of physically writing helps you to get clarity by giving you space to prioritize your fears or concerns and providing an opportunity for positive self-talk as well as a judgment-free zone to recognize negative thoughts and behaviors.
3. Check in With Your Support System
Support systems are essential in helping you identify how, when, and why you got off track in the first place. Sometimes, it can be helpful to have an objective and external source to help you process some of the things you are discovering and realizing about yourself. It can be a lot.
Consider talking to your trusted friends and close family or people who you feel safe talking to and know will be objective yet honest with you.
The goal is to enlist the help of someone who can help you acknowledge the things that you may be avoiding. In some cases, it is best to do this with a trusted professional, such as a therapist.
In other cases, what you need is someone to help you organize your thoughts and create an action plan. In that case, you might enlist the help of a reputable coach or experienced mentor.
Having a support system that will hold you accountable and create space for you to go through the process is critical to you getting back on track. This will greatly reduce the negativity of feeling out of place.
4. Be Grateful
Gratitude is a balm for the soul. It can be the thing that gives us respite from the troubles of the mind and worries of the heart.
When we practice gratitude, the alchemy that happens in the brain is incredible. Studies show that spending time focusing on the things that one is grateful for can lead to increased optimism, feeling better about one’s life, organic desire to exercise, and reduced doctor’s visits.
Let me be clear. Gratitude is not about ignoring what is bothering you or sweeping things under the rug. Instead, gratitude asks you to become innately aware of the world around you and your current experience so that you can identify anything—no matter how small—that you feel grateful for.
It can be as simple as a sunny day, a delicious tangerine, water, or waking up. The thing you express gratitude for doesn’t need to be magnanimous. It can be simple, small, and unique to your experience. The goal is for you to reorient your thinking so that you can begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
5. Visualize Where You Want to Be
Once you have taken time to acknowledge how you feel, get curious about when it started, check in with your support system, and be grateful, the only thing left to do is to start to visualize where you want to be.
There is no point in doing all this work if you don’t know where you want to go from here. Get bold, dream big. Think (or journal) about where you want to be in a 1 month, 6 months, a year.
Draw how you want your life to look. Create a vision board. There are a lot of different ways you can give your vision life.
The reason we want to externalize these ideas is to give us something to easily refer back to when we get overwhelmed. At the moment, it is easy to forget what we are doing and why we are doing it. When you have access to an external representation of your goal. it is easier to have it anchor you when things get rough.
When you have a clear vision, it is easier to create a plan of action. Ultimately, that plan of action will help you take the action necessary to help you get back on track.
There is no shortcut to getting back on track when you feel out of place in life. You have to take a hard look at yourself and get really curious about what lead to these feelings.
You have to want to shift your focus and truly desire to reconnect with yourself. There must be a willingness to do the work. You have to believe that YOU DESERVE peace, happiness, satisfaction, joy—otherwise, visioning the life you want will be impossible.
Feeling off track is not the end of the world. In fact, it is more of a right-of-passage. Remember that it is not permanent, and the process can be sped up if you are proactive. You can do this!
When I have questions or fears, I will turn to You. When I am weak, I will seek your strength. When I am discouraged, Father, I will be mindful of Your love and Your grace. I will ask You for the things I need, Father, and I will trust Your answers, today and forever. ~Amen 🙂
“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world gives, give I to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
SOME OF LIFE’S greatest roadblocks re not the ones we see through the windshield: they are, instead, the roadblocks that seem to fill the rear-view mirror. Because we are imperfect human beings who lack perfect control over our thoughts, we may allow ourselves to become “stuck” in the past–even though we know better. Instead of focusing our thoughts and energies on the opportunities of today, we may allow painful memories to fill our minds and sap our strength. We simply can’t seem to let go of our pain, so we relive it again and again with predictably unfortunate consequences. Thankfully, God has other plans.
Philippians 3:13-14 instructs us to focus on the future, not the past: “One thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (NKJV). Yet for many of us, focusing on the future is difficult indeed. Why? Part of the problem has to do with forgiveness. When we find ourselves focusing too intently on the past, it’s a sure sign that we need to focus, instead, on a more urgent need: the need to forgive. Focusing too intently on the past is, almost without exception, futile. No amount of anger or bitterness can change what happened yesterday. Tears can’t change the past: regrets can’t change it. Our worries won’t change the past, and neither will our complaints. Simply put, the past is, and always will be, the past. FOREVER.
Can you summon both the courage and the wisdom to accept your past and move on with your life? Can you accept the reality that yesterday–and all the yesterdays before it–are gone? And can you entrust all those yesterdays to Our Creator? Hopefully you can.
Once you have made peace with your past, you are free to become fully engaged in the present. And when you become fully engage in the present, you are then free to build a better life nd future for yourself and your loved ones.
If you’ve endured a difficult past, learn from it, don’t live in it. Instead, build your future on a firm foundation of trust and forgiveness: Trust in your Heavenly Father and in forgiveness for all His children, including yourself. Give all your yesterdays to God, and celebrate this day with hope in your heart and praise on your lips. Your Creator intends to use you in wonderful, unexpected ways if you let Him. But firest, God wants you to make peace with your past.
“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” –Psalm 51:10 NIV
“Do not remember the past events, pay no attention to the things of old. Look, I am about to do something new; even now it is coming. Do you not see it? Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.” –Isaiah 43:18 HCSB
“I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” –Philippians 3:13-14 NIV
“And He who sits on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” –Revelation 21:54 NASB
“Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life–even though invisible to spectators–is with Christ in God. He is your life.” Colossians 3:3 MSG